Yesterday, the world was shocked to hear that the Notre Dame Fighting Irish and it’s once mighty and heralded football program fell to the Syracuse Orangemen, one of the worst teams in all of college football. 
Yes, this was quite devastating for the Irish faithful, and according to many of the media publications, it was the biggest fall of an empire since the Romans lost half of their empire to the Turks.
I mention Rome because, like Notre Dame, the only place you can read about their success is in historical archives. Seriously, when was the last time Notre Dame has had a team of any national importance? Sure, they had a spurt several years ago that lasted for about two years, but Northwestern University can say the same thing, right? No, I suspect the last great Notre Dame team anyone has seen was the one in the 1993 film Rudy. In case you don’t remember, that’s the movie where they carry Samwise Gamgee (from Lord of the Rings fame) off the field at the end.
Perhaps Notre Dame should steal a page of the LOTR books by taking some of the gold used to coat their helmet and make an all-powerful ring. After all, most people who aren’t Notre Dame fans can’t stand the sight of them, so they already have the villain aspect going for them. Why not craft an instrument that makes them omnipotent?
For starters, you must have a fearsome leader to be an archvillain, and after four years, we can safely say that Charlie Weis isn’t that leader. Don’t get me wrong, he’s recruited some excellent players to come play for the Irish, thereby establishing a steady foundation for a good coach to come in and take the helm.
Key Word: Good Coach.
Or perhaps Weis has college football where he wants it. Maybe two bad seasons is just the part of his meticulous scheme where he bides his time to make an all-powerful ring under the radar (a difficult feat considering NBC and the national media simply won’t forget about Notre Dame). 
This makes sense; after all, you certainly don’t want to be in the spotlight when you’re forging an ancient weapon of mass destruction. Doing this would provide the 2009 Fighting Irish team with the element of surprise, and would help them conquer college football in one fell swoop!
Meanwhile, us laymen have to take about 3 grams of No-Doz just to stay awake during a Notre Dame Fighting Irish football game. A clever deception, Charles Weis; a clever deception indeed.
[...] No-Doz Fighting Irish and the One Ring … of the media publications, it was the biggest fall of an empire since the Romans lost half of their empire to the Turks. I mention Rome because, like Notre Dame, the only place you can read about their success is in historical archives. Seriously, when was the last time Notre Dame has had a team of any … [...]