Tonight I had the privilege to be a part of a focus group. For those of you unfamiliar with this term, a focus group is what many media companies, polling services, etc. will conduct in order to give the company’s marketing department an good idea on how to advertise their product. In the case of tonight, I participated in a focus group conducted by 4Tell Films, a Jackson, MS-based film production company. They asked us several questions ranging from text messages to what would we say if we were in an auto accident. They were pushing for our opinion on these matters, which made it evidently clear that were going to promote some sort of phone or car product. While I probably should keep their ulterior motives confidential, I witnessed an effective tool in this focus group meeting. It was similar to when I held readings for scripts that I wrote; since a play can not be effective without an audience, it is essential that you get their opinion before you mount the production. In fact, it has been said that there is wisdom in counsel.

I find myself asking people for advice in different aspects of life. But I also believe that it is important to carefully consider who you ask for advice. I’ve had good experiences with seeking counsel, and bad experiences as well. Although there are many factors that go into seeking advice, if there is a general rule of thumb, it is this:

Don’t ever seek counsel from someone who doesn’t have anything invested in your life and well-being.

Even Machiavelli said that when a prince seeks advice, it should come a select group of wisemen whose life and career depends on the reign of the prince, and not from flatterers.

That’s why parents are usually a good choice for seeking advice. After all, you’re their seed, and if something bad happens to you, they’re in danger of losing their ultimate contribution on this Earth; a continuation of the family lineage. Love for their children isn’t the only reason parents protect them. Without trying to sound too cynical, your parents are human, like everyone, like you. They have needs and desires with a hint of selfishness; they don’t want to see something that they produced go to waste. But all those attributes benefit you in your search for good counsel.

This same principle can apply for anyone in a similar position. A professor, mentor, boss, etc. These people don’t want to see their knowledge go to the grave with them, so they would like to pass it down to people who they see fit to carry the torch into the dark, endless expanse of time.

However, not all parents are good. Obviously, you have to take this case by case.

Beyond that, you should heed caution when extracting advice from anyone else, including your friends. Make sure that the people you seek counsel from are not just talking highly instead of really trying to help you. The results can be quite disastrous. I believe some friends can help you in some areas, and others can help you in other areas.

I’m sure you see the irony that I’m giving advice in an article that tells you to be wary of you take advice from. Perhaps the best thing to say is if you’re a writer, be extra careful of who you take advice from, especially other writers.

Stepping down from my soapbox, I must make a decree that I am moving out of Jackson, MS to Los Angeles, CA! Some of you know this by now, but many of you will find this to be surprising news. My next blog entry will give more outlined details of where exactly I’ll be (as of this writing, it is not yet certain) and when exactly I am going. But hold to your hats; I’ll be holding mine.