Marsupials and the Mob

One day, about a year ago, I went outside to exercise – which consisted of walking down the street for several miles – and I saw something quite grotesque. It was a dead opossum who had apparently been hit by a car. I thought to myself, well, that’s Mississippi for you. So I walked by it and never gave it a second thought – shame on me, I know.

Anyway, I came out the next day and the opossum was still lying there, dead as an ’80s rock star’s career, and I thought to myself, hey, that was there yesterday, but just kept walking as if it never had occurred. This was a cycle that repeated itself for a significant amount of time.

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Facebook Titles

So I was browsing on Facebook the other day, looking for potential groups to join. I’m only a part of three or four. I’d like to join more, but first off, the only time I think of it is when I’m on Facebook, and secondly, most of the group names are so ridiculous I would feel ridiculous joining them. Here’s a couple I came across:

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The New High

Have you guys heard about the new ‘high’? Drink about four cups of water in one sitting and whenever you start feeling the urge to go pee, instead of heading straight to the restroom, hold it for 60-90 minutes. Forget alcohol, forget narcotics, even forget sky diving. This is safe, it’s legal, and it’s inexpensive. Imagine a row of people squirming as if they had a long, dark secret they are just wishing they could tell you. So is this the new ‘high’ everyone’s talking about? Hardly. These same people will reach the unprecedented and unparalleled state of euphoria when the time comes to finally relieve themselves. Whoa! Bottoms up!